My Desire

I want my world that will render my existence

I want my world to pure my life with gracious blessings

I want my world to be as gratitude to live in

I want my world to be as fulfilling like an extraordinary person

I want my world will full of mysteries that I am capable of accepting fears

I want my world to be useful as I live it very ideal

I want my world to be life full of fantasy and the records has an never ending joy

I want my world to be stunned with great rewards as that person endures sacrifice

I want my world to be unique as an individual lives in this universe

I want my world full of dreams and not wasting time but to work with them

I want my world to be as courageous and lovely people

I want my world to engage take considerations of an individual reigning the ones who’ll win the debate

I want my world to be free from multiple judgements

I want my world to accept criticisms and judgements too and learn from them

I want I want I want

Its never ending because desires are thoughts

Flows in the entire brain

i am….

I am currently drowning. The one that i wanted nga mu rescue is not helping. Shocks false hopes i think he thinks. Shocking. Why is he?????? Arghh… Getting mad made me feel oh yeah overwhelming but the people that durrounds me were haters of the things that i am doing. Is this madness.. no one dare to care cause i always ask and i tend to be blind and deaf. Hopefully i am incapable of everything. One said to me that i am delikado… grabeh my birth is really not my league. This is making me socially impaired. Grabeh.


Maybe i would say things in the right time. I have already lost my way. I just need to go back in place. This is complicated what is the matter with me marattle gyud ko niya. It seems very odd and not me. I am badly not in a good condition. I am alright. I will be okay. Whew!!! This will gonna thrill my life. I want to give up. People are critical as it seems. I have had lived a crazy home. :(

i am tired

I am very tired of wasting my time. I make an effort on this. This kinda makes my feelings and my desires delight. I just wanna be free. Free as in free. Close people judge you so youvjudge them too.. it a crazy stuff to think but I kinda feel guilty. I do want to be true to myself and that is the discretion of a person if he is really for real. Well. God bless to you fellow. I just can’t be beat the things I am just merely nothing. Pitting my shoes into his wow. I just need to appreciate being hurt cause i just knew what i am heading. Wow this is full of words. Well not bad at all. But i tend to do my motives when i will be lifting my burdens by appreciating the feeling to fully accept it and be free.

I painted the walls

I crashed my heart and the walls collide and I have never been fixed. I made myself bitter and desperate asbit seems. I am torn and torn. Piece by piece I have in serious injury. I know myself better more as it should be. But I never hot the chance to struggle back. Because I know that what I painted is never to be vanished. I was just splashed by the wind and by then I crashed myself into piece that I did not know what I am working on. I forgot a lit of times already and I pause for a moment declaring myself worst as in worst. I never thought that it should be that. It seems easy to see but they are really not getting the real feeling.

For Real

I do love everyone
I do not want them to be hurt
I just made a sacrifice
But they think I am stupid.

I do respect everyone
I do not want to be that judgemental
I just can’t handle them
Because they were the ones who judge.

I am an open minded person
I do not want to shut them down
I just froze their mind
Because they were too crazy.

I am just good.

Better?? I do not really know what i am capable of. After i made a sacrifice i was very in love but the person shut me down and listen on his own point of view. I have respected him but i am afraid to face him because he has hurted my precious heart. Why can’t he listen?? Ever since the day that we are together when i said yes its then i felt very hopeless. He even labeled me that i was really in love with him. Why can’t he even listen that my heart is hurt. He needs to do a lot of sacrifice knowing that i always make a sacrifice for myself though i acted selfish. If he only listens to my story. I become crazy because of his random and unbelievable words. I am bringing nothing back. Before i tend to give myself from a true man that i will be with i need to be healed. Completely that i may find myself better.


I do not want to be loved
I am selfish
I have a doubtful heart
I only care for myself
I do things for myself
I just care what were my mistakes
I just could not imagine love
I do not feel it any longer
I sacrifice only for my sake
I do a lot of crazy stuffs because I am isolated
I shut people down
I think a lot of hatred stuffs
I can feel everyone is against me
I can feel hatred
I can actually detect bad thoughts
I am stupid
I am very bad
I am unworthy
I do not deserve anything